“I’ve told you I’m takin’ care of some things. I didn’t want to cry, I was sick of crying. I turned my head and looked out the window of the car, willing the tears in my eyes not to fall. I fight with you all the time, I’m too exhausted to do anythin’ else.” You have landed us in this rut, and the sad thing is I don’t even know why! I don’t know what you do when you leave the house every night, or why you’re always on your phone, and it’s pathetic that I’ve just accepted it, but I’m too tired. We don’t talk, we don’t laugh, we don’t do anythin’ but fight with one another and it’s your bloody fault. “And whose fault is that?” I bellowed, throwing my hands in the air. He spoke of me like I was nothing more than a sexual object. I’d settle for fucking spooning at this point.” “No,” Ryder agreed, “but it’d be nice if I could hit it at least once a fucking week. “Me purpose on this Earth isn’t to fuck you whenever you see fit.” You left our bed to sleep up in Dominic’s old room, the furthest away from me that you can be in our house.” “I’m home a lot and you still never put out. “Don’t feed me that bullshit,” Ryder growled as he pulled out of the space. My sister, and the other girls, would smack me around for resorting to this way of thinking, but they didn’t know what my home life or relationship with Ryder was like.
I didn’t think I would be able to handle that, and decided I was better off not knowing. The silent ‘or who’ was implied, but the words never left my lips because I was terrified if it turned out to be a ‘who’ that was the reason for him leaving every night. “We probably would if you didn’t go off every single night to do God knows what.” I flattened my hands out on my thighs and resisted the urge to ball them into fists.
“Besides,” he quipped, “we’d actually have to fuck in order to get you pregnant.” Ryder faced forward and jammed his key into the ignition and started up his car.
“No, we aren’t in the position to raise a dog, let alone a child.” “Do you think we’re at a point where we should have a kid?” he asked, and I heard the doubt laced throughout his voice. I glanced at him as he continued to remain silent.
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